Chapter Twelve

I chose not to care anymore. The day I lost him, I lost myself. I wanted nothing more than to die. I thought that perhaps by finding the one who killed my love, I'd find peace. I thought that maybe if I killed the man who killed him...I'd be happy. I was wrong. Death only brings more death. Sadness and pain create more sadness. There is no peace in revenge. The only thing that kept me going then, was the thought that if he could see me...he would be so ashamed. He wouldn't want me to be like this.

For weeks I wandered what we call The Waste. It is a place of desolation and death. There are very few things that live there. The things that do have adapted to survive in a harsh environment. The cities of my world are protected by the shields created to keep the city within safe. They are not there to merely keep the bio-gens out. They're there to protect from the harsh reality of our world.

My world is dying. Slowly, day by day, week by week, month by month...the number of the bio-gen's is ever increasing, and with their increase, hundreds die...thousands even. Eventually there will be nothing human left on this world. All will be the mindless creatures we call bio-gens.

Perhaps we will meet that end without ever changing. Like the creatures of The Waste, mankind must learn to adapt to this world. We cannot live forever in our gilded cities, with our lies that mask the reality. Bio-gens exist. There is no escaping that.

Will we become as the nomads of Kalla? Quiet...reserved...unable to trust anyone? Perhaps. If that is what is necessary for survival, perhaps that is what I shall become. My life is not worth anything...but I cannot go against my love. He would have wished for me to continue on.

There comes a time in any man's life when he must choose a new path. For some, it is as simple as making a change in their daily routine or diet. In my case, it was a change of mindset. I had to find a way to continue on without my guiding light. Such a thing is difficult...especially for me. Without a light to guide me, my emotions take control. I lose sight of what my goals are...and after the dust clears, there is nothing left but destruction. In the end I am all alone.

Where is my guiding light?

• Zenarith's Journals -
  

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His stomach growled at him again, for at least the twentieth time today. Rinn sighed, curling up into a neat ball in the darkness of the alley. He'd made it to the lower-city before losing Sigma's scent. He sighed. He'd made it here, and then the scent had just...stopped. Rinn frowned, trying to understand why exactly it had stopped. There was no sign of Sigma here. This part of town was empty...many of those who once live here were gone. The few who still came through were homeless or on their way to somewhere else.

He sighed, pouting. He was hungry. It had been nearly two days since he'd started searching for Sigma, and three since he'd returned to the city in the first place. His stomach complained loudly at him, and his ears drooped. He sighed, closing his eyes. It was getting hard to concentrate. His nose wrinkled as he sniffed, trying to catch Sigma's scent again. It was so faded already. He knew that any onlooker would disregard him almost instantly, thinking that perhaps he was just a homeless idiot searching for money in the gutters.

Rinn reached out his senses, trying again to catch a tendril of thought that might belong to Sigma. Nothing...he couldn't sense anything at all. He was about to pull his senses back when there was the small sense of ...something. His eyebrows furrowed as he concentrated. His heart was pounding in his chest when he finally located the direction the sense was coming from.

“Below..?” He whispered softly, confused. Rinn's crimson eyes widened. Of course! Where else had he not looked? His eyes darted around, stopping on an access panel. “Level one..? No...Two?” He whispered to himself, his tail waving behind him. He looked around quickly. There was no one nearby.

He smiled widely to himself, scurrying to the access panel, and prying it open. He was strong for his delicate-looking size, and the panel opened easily. He peeked down into the hole, wrinkling his nose at the strong musky stench rising up from below. He was probably over the fertilizer pumps for the level one gardens.

Carefully, he slipped down into the access corridor, closing the panel above his head before going down the ladder. He covered his nose. The smell was just so strong...it stung his nose, almost burning. Rinn shook his head, and continued forward. It seemed like such a long time before he finally couldn't go any further. The scent of the fertilizer was just too strong. He looked around, completely lost.

Panic rose in his chest. He didn't know which way to go. He was at a cross-way, and after turning to decide which hall to continue down, he'd forgotten from which way he came. He fought off a wave of panic that threatened to overwhelm him.

“Must find,” he whispered to himself, voice shaking slightly. “Must find...” He nodded to himself, picking one of the corridors, and hoping it was the right way. Several minutes later, he finally found another access panel, but...it was shut tight. No amount of pulling was able to free it. He closed his eyes, leaning his forehead against the wall. He felt sick...the smell of the fertilizer was just so overwhelming. He coughed, feeling dizzy. A man touched his arm, and Rinn started with surprise, eyes going wide. He pulled the hood down further on his head, making sure his tail was neatly tucked inside the huge coat. “H-Hello..” he said shyly.

“What are you doing in here, kid? This corridor's off limits to anyone without a hazard-suit,” the man grumbled, his thick eyebrows furrowing in concern. Rinn looked down, unsure what to say. He bit his lip, then looked down the corridor behind the man, and then the opposite way. He kept his ears flat against his head...just in case.

“Am lost,” he whispered, his voice still shaking just a little bit. He looked down at the floor, and then covered his nose and mouth again, coughing. The man frowned, re-covering his own face with a soft cloth mask, and pressing one into Rinn's hands. Rinn covered his nose and mouth, holding the mask up, eyes wide. The man beckoned for him to follow, and Rinn did so, trying not to stumble too much.

The man led him for what seemed like an hour, and then down a set of stairs. The air was cleaner, and Rinn felt like he could breathe again. The dizziness faded over a few minutes time, and when they stepped into the bright, warm light of one of the Garden's, Rinn couldn't help but make a small sound, squeezing his eyes shut as he attempted to re-adjust his eyes to the light. The man turned, and smiled slightly at him. “There now...you're out of that place, now....where are you from, kid?”

Rinn bit his lip, uncertain how to reply. He couldn't risk being sent back now...not when he was this close to finding Sigma. He looked down, fidgeting. “Am...looking for someone,” he finally replied, tilting his head to the side. He didn't know how far he could trust the man. “Where...?”

The man smiled a bit awkwardly at him. “West district, Level One Gardens,” he said, almost without thinking. Rinn could tell the man was proud of his job...proud to be a gardener. Rinn smiled at him, perking up a bit. The man seemed nice enough. Rinn went over his mental map, calculating where it was he needed to be. His eyes widened as he thought about it. He was close. He sniffed, and then winced. His nose still stung.

Rinn nodded slowly to the man, and then turned, startled by the sound of water hissing. The man let out a soft gasp, and stepped back from him. Rinn's eyes widened as he turned to face the man. His hood had slipped back, revealing his soft blue ears. He paled, feeling the dismay rolling off of the farmer. He trembled, stepping back as the dismay changed into anger. The fury surrounded Rinn, and he felt smaller. He stepped back, wanting to avoid getting in a fight. The last thing he wanted was to get hurt or hurt someone.

“D-damned Bio-Gen!” The man hissed at him, taking hold of a nearby shovel, swinging it at Rinn. He was startled, and tried to dodge the heavy object, the end of it clipping his left shoulder. He whimpered, feeling his arm go numb, and then burn with pain. He stumbled away from the man, pulling the hood back over his head.

He ran, stumbling down the corridor, the scent of the fertilizer in the water spray stinging his nose. He followed his instincts, speeding into the shadows of an alley outside the Garden. He hid, his heart pounding in his chest as he hid behind a trash bin. He held himself still as he could, waiting for the sound of the farmer to disappear. He sat there for at least an hour..waiting, shivering..the pain in his shoulder just got worse, and he bit his lip, feeling slightly faint.

He took a deep breath, and sent out his senses again, searching for that faint flicker he'd felt from Sigma. Ah..there it was again. Faint, but definitely there. He smiled, and shuffled off into the shadows, searching for a way down to the next level.

Rinn found his way down through a regular transport service elevator. He slipped on top of one of the boxes of supplies, holding tight as the elevator dropped down to the next level. It came to a shuddering halt, and Rinn winced as it bumped into his wounded shoulder. He took a moment, waiting for the dizziness to clear from his head. He slipped out of the elevator before anyone took notice of his presence. His nose wrinkled, and he let out a soft curse. His cheeks flushed. Oh the look Avin would give him if he knew that Rinn had cursed. A soft giggle escaped him and he couldn't help but smile at the thought.

His smile disappeared after a moment though. Avin was probably searching for him. Rinn shook his head. Even so, he couldn't let Avin find him. Not yet. Finding Sigma was too important. He nodded to himself, steeling his resolve. He took a deep breath and made his way down the alleys of the second sub-level of Naunet Riva. Rinn had been to this level of the city before, but not this section. There were many residences for those who were Augmented humans. The ocean was just outside the thick walls, and it shielded many of those with powers from the outside stresses. Rinn even felt calmer here. He smiled softly to himself. Maybe someday he'd get a residence here...it was nice...very quiet too. He shook his head. No time to be distracted now. He sniffed, trying to catch Sigma's scent again. It had already been so long...but the scent was definitely stronger here.

Rinn frowned as he came to the warehouse section. Sigma's scent was stronger here, but it didn't go anywhere again. He sighed, thinking to himself that Sigma was a very hard man to find. He smiled at that. It wasn't a bad thing that it was that way...just a little frustrating. He sighed, tapping his feet, tail swishing. He looked up at a cluster of storage nits that overlooked the area, and narrowed his eyes. Oh of course it just had to be up there. Rinn sighed, looking for a way up. He found a ladder, and made his way up. It was a little hard, since his left arm wasn't working right...every time he tried to move, it sent waves of nausea and pain through his small frame.

He sighed, sinking down against the door of one of the buildings, his chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath. His shoulder was throbbing with massive amounts of pain. He sighed softly, trying to relax. Maybe it wouldn't hurt..if he were to rest for a little while.

* * * * *

Sigma groaned. After waking, his body was complaining about functions that needed to be taken care of, but he really just did not feel like getting up. He finally stumbled to the bathroom, mentally making a note to never take a three-day nap ever again, no matter what. It didn't matter if he'd been poisoned or injured...he just didn't like taking care of business when he felt like garbage. He sighed, feeling much better, and washed his face with cool water. An annoying beep had started a few minutes ago, and he grumbled. His head was aching much like it did when he drank too much Dusk.

“Shut the hell up,” he muttered to the external sensors. The damn things were too sensitive, and often picked up small creatures like cat-mice or rat-snakes. He flipped a switch, pulling up his display, waiting for it to boot as he took a deep swig of chilled water. Sigma frowned, looking over the projection. There was the empath..the strange little cat-boy...Rinn, was it? He couldn't remember properly. He sighed, deciding to ignore the others presence. He was about to turn away when he saw the small puddle of blood pooling near the boy's left arm.

He sighed, running a hand through his hair. He really didn't feel like dealing with this right now, but his heart wasn't cooperating with his head. Sigma sighed, noting that the cat boy was unconscious. He grabbed his med-kit, and slipped out of his secret entrance hatch, kneeling next to the empath. He neatly cut off the boy's torn and bloodied shirt, and felt his heart clench at what he saw.

The boy was so thin. His slender frame was compact. Sigma could see hints of lithe muscle, but he was completely covered in thin white scars. Sigma's eyes narrowed, and he shook his head. He didn't want to think about where they came from. He couldn't risk becoming attached to the boy in any way. He quickly cleaned up the long gash on the young man's shoulder, and re-set the dislocated portion. It was already bruising, looking dark nasty black and purple colors tinged with green. He knew that it had to have hurt. He wondered how Rinn had managed to find him...this was one of his most secure locations.

Sigma sighed. He'd probably have to move again, much s he didn't want to. He didn't trust anyone, and most certainly didn't want to risk being found. He'd already become far too involved in the bio-gen investigation as it was.

He bandaged the gash, noticing how it was already starting to heal. Lucky kid had quick healing as well? He shook his head, frowning. Didn't matter. He pulled the boy's huge coat out from behind him, and covered the unconscious boy, hoping that the kid would leave once he regained his senses. Sigma went back inside his hiding place, keeping the display up and running as he rummaged around for food. It had to have been at least three days since he'd eaten that damned roll. He grumbled to himself. The last thing he wanted was to think about how he'd ended up unconscious with nasty nightmares of things he didn't want to think about ever again.

He sat, looking over the daily news report as he always did, eating some fruit. It was a little bruised and old, but still edible. He'd have to go out for food soon. Most of it was starting to go bad since he'd been gone so long. He sighed with irritation as the display beeped at him again in its annoying high-pitched squeal. He sighed, finishing off the last piece of fruit, his stomach still grumbling, and stood, moving to the display. It looked like the kid was waking up.

He took a long swig of the water, and raised an eyebrow, half amused, half irritated when the boy stood up, looking at his own shoulder. The kid was cute, Sigma had to give him that, but he wasn't going to let the cute factor distract him. He wasn't going to help. That was that, and there was nothing the boy could do to change it.

“Sad man..?” Rinn whispered, looking up into the sensor detector. Sigma groaned. He wondered how on earth the boy had come up with a name like that one. He didn't like the idea of anyone looking inside his head. His past was his and his alone, and there was no one he wanted to see it. He ignored the boy and continued eating his meal, devouring fruit after fruit.

He watched with some amusement as Rinn tried to get into his secret hiding place. The boy's tail was twitching almost with irritation, along with the boy's cat ears. Sigma munched on a fruit, thinking to himself that it would be amusing if Rinn managed to find a way inside. He decided that if the boy managed to do that at least, he'd listen to what the kid had to say.

Rinn stopped suddenly, eyes going wide as he looked up to the sensor. Sigma felt a surge of dismay as the boy's face brightened, his lips pulling into a huge smile.

“Really?” Rinn beamed, his voice crackling over the external microphone. The boy's tail was waving behind him. “Will listen to what said?”

Sigma groaned, slapping his palm to his forehead. Now why had he thought that? He couldn't take it back now. He found that he rather disliked the uncanny ability Rinn seemed to have about figuring out what Sigma was thinking. Thalia had never been so impolite.

Now why was he thinking of that woman? That in and of itself was rather unusual...He frowned, remembering that he'd heard her voice in his dreams as well. Why had he been thinking of her? He'd only met her a few times, and only spoken to her once. Now his thoughts were on her again. Rinn giggled outside, and Sigma felt his cheeks warm and redden, his hair shifting to the violets and red end of the spectrum of color. He sighed with irritation, and glared at the screen, trying futilely to not think of anything that would give Rinn any hints. He grumbled with dismay as Rinn managed to open the access panel that released the door. He frowned at the other with irritation, wondering how Rinn had figured it out.

“Have a good nose,” Rinn said softly, tapping his own nose, smiling at Sigma. It was obvious that the boy was pleased with himself. Sigma sighed, and leaned against the wall, glaring at the cat-boy who was now sitting on his bed, looking pleased.

Well, this was going to be fun. Maybe.